beating up old people… why??

this story broke a few days ago (i been off my game, what’s it to you?), but i needed to address this, regardless of how old the news is.  apparently, this dude, who works at a $70,000 a year retirement home, likes to go full on wwf/lucha libre on the seniors in the facility.  i mean, wtf is wrong with this kid?  knee drops from the top rope?  to a senior citizen no less?  it’s a shame they don’t have cctv cameras in the bedrooms, b/c as terrible as it is… i would pay money to watch him body slam some grandma into a bed (assuming he will get jail time, long as he gets punished, why can’t we be entertained?).  my favorite part is when his lawyer tries to make it seem normal that in a retirement home, where some residents suffer from dementia or other such ailments that make them ‘combative’, multiple fractured bones are totally ok… like a free range chicken farm… what?  dude is reaaaching. not to mention, i would never put my grandma in a home for $70,000 a year if the home thought broken bones was just part of the territory.

here’s my suggestion for a fair punishment.  jam every finger and toe on this dude (have him try to catch balls thrown at him by favre or some shit), then, set up a wwf ppv style elimination chamber.  and then, you start rallying the troops.  any able bodied relative of a resident should be allowed to participate.  if they for some reason cannot participate, as in the case of the 86 year old widow that may have had her husband beat to death by dude, you get to choose one active pro-wrassler to take your place.  then we throw the gimp in the middle of the ring, and everyone, gets 10 solid minutes of punishment with their weapon of choice (steel chair, 2×4, bat with thumbtacks, you know the drill, go rent a backyard wrassling dvd).  emt’s should stand by so the kid doesn’t die, but the goal would be to beat him into a paraplegic state or a coma, either one works for me.  at the end, everyone gets to get together around the ring, hold hands, and take turns hocking loogies on homeboy.  that’s what i would do anyway.  love you, grandma!


~ by col.rice on April 6, 2010.

One Response to “beating up old people… why??”

  1. LMAO……..I know Grandmas world wide are happy that you are on THEIR side!

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