6 ways to tell your kid is a bully…

my temp at my day job also happens to be a standup comic.  he sends me weird internet shit on a daily basis.  usually, i ignore it, sometimes it’s funny, then sometimes, like this, it’s downright hilarious.  this site points out six easy ways to find out if your kid’s a bully:

• Impulsive, hot-headed, dominant
• Easily frustrated
• Lacking empathy
• Having difficulty following rules
• Viewing violence in a positive way
• Physically stronger than other children (this is more a characteristic of boy bullies)

to which i can only say… uhhhh dohyyyyyy.  first of all, parents, if you’re that fucking oblivious to your child’s life, you might as well give him to brangelina… now.  seriously, it’s a better future for him/her, trust me.  sure, they’ll be privy to odd celebrity child behavior (i.e. miley cyrus), but it’s better than growing up around your dumbass.  here’s my list of 6 ways to tell your kid is a bully:

• bloody knuckles
• calls from school saying your kid beat up another kid
• calls from other parents saying your kid beat up their kid
• rolls/wads of lunch money
• the fact that he keeps yelling “o’doyle rules!” while hulk hogan flexing
• either no friends or a crew of stupid goony yes men

seriously parents, watch a fucking movie or an after school special.  it ain’t that hard to figure out.  that said, one of your kids bullies one of mine?  they gotta deal with me.  so please, check ya kids, they precious… but not that precious.

~ by col.rice on April 3, 2010.