kids these days…
according to the philly inquirer, a local 72 year old man was donnybrooked to all hell in the name of a children’s game called “catch and wreck”. apparently, philly youths ages 11-15 will congregate in a playground, pick out what they consider is a bum, and beat the living hell out of him. or her, as moore, a 42 year old cleaning lady, also experienced on her way home (note to self, never take the shortcut through the playground in philly, it’s not the same philly we knew from the fresh prince days). which begs the question… what the fuck? what in god’s name is wrong with children today? where are the parents?
i mean, i grew up in a country where square dancing was a fairly common occurrence, we don’t have guns, we a little aggressive, so throwing hands? an obvious way to sort things out at times… but jumping bums? like… they don’t got enough to be pissed about, as is? do they really need pre-pubescent fucks, who dance to justin bieber tunes, all up in they asses throwin’ wild? i think not. now when i was 15, here and there, i’d run into hostile homeless types and the first thing that would cross my mind? i’d need a hazmat suit and industrial rubber gloves before i mixed it up with this dude. i pray to everything that is holy that one of these kids ends up catching a bum (or non-bum, as they clearly seem to have problems identifying the difference) with some sort of terminal illness they can contract through open wounds. seriously. all these kids have very little chance of ever becoming productive members of society if bum beating is their after school activity of choice, so why not just end them all. what the fuck happened to basketball?
man, if my mother ever found out i had beaten some 72 year old dude into intensive care, it would be the first murder by slaps ever recorded. real talk.